I thought being unemployed would be great fun, not having to do any stupid shit I don’t believe needs to be done. But sadly I’m not doing any other shit either. Mostly day dreaming and mood swinging from ”it’s ok” to ”i’m worthless”. Also finding television a form of fun after years of systematic loathing. It’s like I’m avoiding doing things I’d like to get done to protect myself from not getting them done anyway. Does that make any sense? No it doesn’t. But here’s a fucking fabulous photo of me I got done yesterday. I figure the thinking goes something like ”perhaps if I get a lot of likes I’ll feel more worthy and get things done” even though I know all it does is it makes me obsessively check my phone for that instant gratification called likes all day, pushing my true goals ever further. So stupid.